Saturday, May 15, 2010
Kindred Spirit, Anyone?
You know those friends who just "get it"? The ones who you can pretty much say anything to and know that they won't judge, criticize, dismiss or look at you like you have six heads? I just love those friends. They are treasures to me. And you know what I love most about those friendships? Authenticity. No silly, surfacy awkwardness, no putting on masks, no presumptions. Just you and her, just as you are. I need more of those friendships in my life. I have a few, but dang it, they all live at least a couple time zones away. I had a therapist once tell me that once you leave college, it takes so much longer to cultivate those close friendships because in college you spend 24/7 together whereas in real life you might see people once a week at best. Really, it just stinks how long it takes to develop those kindred spirit friendships (Anne of Green Gables fans, you know what I am talking about!). And for me, by the time I have made one or two of those friendships, it's been time for us to move again. I realize that some friendships last for a season and some last for a lifetime. Some friendships are developed because we have kids that are at a similar stage. Some come from sharing in a group, committee, a bible study or the like. Some last for a time during a job or school experience. Regardless of how they begin, I long for and need more of those lifelong kindred spirit friendships! Anyone else?
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Yes, yes, yes! I know exactly what you're talking about (obviously!). Not only do we not spend 24/7 with anyone other than our families once we're out of college, we're also CONSUMED by family at this time in our lives. I know for me, carving out time for MYSELF, let alone anyone else that's not under the age of 7 and doesn't call me mama is a challenge. It's one of the things I vowed to work on - developing meaningful relationships outside the circle of my family. We mamas NEED each other.
ReplyDeleteAMEN!!!! I miss you more than I could ever express here!!! Praying for you today!
ReplyDeleteYes! You've voiced something that's been on my heart forever. I do have one good girl friend, she just graduated MFT from seminary, a fellow stay at home mom with me. She and I do what you described in your post! I do yearn for more of these friendships, they're just so precious and few and far between. You're right in college we spent 24/7 with each other and built so many meaningful relationships. Outside of college it's so much harder and we have to be so much more intentional. Most of the time, my hubby and I don't have enough energy at the end of the day, we just want to relax. Building friendships takes time and energy that married folks with kids seem to have very little of after they're done with the day's responsibilities. Sorry for the long comment, your post just provoked a bunch of kindred thoughts. Nice to meet you!
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